Avengers: Infinity War

Josh: "I knew you were asleep in this part because everyone went *gasp* and you stayed silent"

One and a quarter thumbs up

Spiderman: Homecoming

You think voluntarily going to detention and laughing at your teacher because you are "sketching people in crisis" makes you edgy? No, you just look like a high school emo loser. 

One and a half thumbs up - Tom Holland and Michael Keaton were perfectly cast, but as you can see, I am severely annoyed by Zendaya. 

Tiptoes

Matthew McConaughy knocks up Kate Beckinsale, however is concerned the baby will be a midget because surprise his whole family are midgets. However instead of being sensitive to the possible challenges, he becomes an asshole and shits on everyone who are all actually being caring in this situation. Oh and he kicks Kate and midget baby out of the house and she ends up hooking up with his midget brother Gary Oldman and they live in a cabin with bad French Peter Dinklage.
Two thumbs down - wow... just... so inappropriate wow. It makes "The Room" look like a coherent masterpiece.

The Founder

His behaviour and gall at the end leaves a sour taste in my mouth.
Half a thumbs up - boring protagonist for the majority of the film (any scenes with the McDonald brothers were much more interesting) until the end when he became a shark, figuratively.

Vice

And all I knew about Dick Cheney before this was that he shot someone during a hunting trip.
One and a half thumbs up - feeling unsettled after this, however I do think some scenes in the end montage are a bit of a stretch in their association with him.

Roma

"... it's an intimate portrait of the women who raised me in a recognition of love as a mystery that transcends space, memory and time"  - Alfonso Cuaron
One and a half thumbs up, it is both slow but beautifully emotional

The Favourite

A thought process:
Rachel Weisz, Emma Stone - love them but still borderline. From the director of 'The Lobster'? Okay I am definitely seeing this. Olivia Coleman wins best actress and gives hilarious speech? Decision re-affirmed.
Two thumbs up - it was exquisite and funny and perfect. We are not even a fortnight into 2019 and this is a crazy early call, but this will probably be the best movie I see all year.

Chef

This scene is legitimately a bit of a turn on for me... I remember it so vividly.
One and a half thumbs up - I keep it enjoying it each re-watch.

Colette

This was recommended to me by my Korean artist patient who despite enjoying the 'women's freedom, sexuality' topics of this, I think has been burnt by a man in the past because she always tells me slightly inappropriate things like 'don't leave it too late to get married and have a child' but also 'beware of white men'.
Three quarters thumbs up - it was interesting, and Keira Knightley is so beautiful and captivating.

"The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down"

Oh no the road is unfinished, MORE SPEED!!
One hour later...
Oh no the track is unfinished, MORE SPEED!!
One and a half thumbs up, but the best part was the fact that 'Speed' is the first thing that pops up when you google "bus that couldn't slow down"

About A Boy

Granola hippies as a stereotype, really seem to like clothes with toggle buttons... I wonder why?
One and a half thumbs up.

Training Day

It is strange that Denzel was 'lead actor' and Ethan Hawke was 'supporting actor' even though he had more screen time. They should have been both 'lead'
One thumbs up - Denzel was good, but not better than Russell-Crowe-Beautiful-Mind/Academy-Award-winner good.

Dead Poets Society

I loved Neil then, and I still love him now.
One and three quarters thumbs up - they got the casting right, I could not imagine River Phoenix as Neil, or Liam Neeson as Mr. Keating (though that one is not too far fetched).

Avengers 2: The Age of Ultron

I fell asleep in the third act
Me: "So how did they kill Ultron?"
Josh: "Don't worry, they just did. They all did"
Zero thumbs up - I thought I have seen this before, but no, it was probably just Josh telling me the story to prepare for the next one.

Mulan

Okay why am I crying when she is running away in disguise?
One thumbs up - Mulan, you go girl!

The Holiday

Running in heels in the snow is just stupid, though I do like that she stopped to catch her breath.
Half a thumbs up - it's alright I guess.

Love Actually

When I was younger I would have been flattered by a video of just me; but now that is just freaky.
One and a half thumbs up - it seems like everyone is maturing into high-brow Love Actually hating people, and I will be left behind still liking it.

Green Book

I exalted a lone laugh out loud when he was writing 'As I am writing this letter, I am eating potato chips'
One and a half thumbs up - it was much better than the trailer made it out to be, and personal thumbs up to Nicole for directing us to these free tickets!

The Princess Switch

Of all the ridiculous things in this movie (not one but two made up European countries, no kissing before marriage, a royal in a mini-skirt in public) nothing beats the suspension of reality to make me believe his favourite Christmas movie is Netflix's A Christmas Prince. 

One thumbs down - it is so bad but you will keep watching till the end to confirm it will go exactly the way you think it will. 

The Disaster Artist

I am pretty sure James Franco is wearing a prosthetic nose.
One and a half thumbs up.