Birds of Prey: And The Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn

Me a month ago: "Yay!! Netflix will have that Harley Quinn movie next month! I have heard it wasn't terrible"

Daniel: "If you are excited because it is NOT terrible, then your standards are too low" 

One quarter thumbs up - it wasn't terrible... but it wasn't great. Female superheroes, Asian-American director... I wish it was better though! 

Heat

Things I was disproportionately annoyed at about this film (non or barely a spoiler):

1. Eady - the age difference.

2. Eady - dumb bitch. 

3. Val Kilmer - this guy was an 80s/90s heart-throb? Seriously? This guy? 

I can't even with all this. 

One and a quarter thumbs up - it was good, but not Fugitive-good. But personal thumbs up to me for blinding nominating this film to the 'will Daniel like this?' query and scoring a positive rating!

Dogtooth

That moment when the first thing happened (which in hindsight was totally tame in comparison) and I looked around and we were all frozen with hands over our faces or eyes in shock. 

Three quarters thumbs up - "I have been frowning this whole movie" - Jessica, on behalf of all of us. That was highly disturbing and frustrating. BUT WHY?? 

Enola Holmes

If I were in mid-high school, I would totally start incorporating this aesthetic into my life and fan-girl over the boy. But alas I am old now so Henry Cavill in the three piece suit is what does it. 

A quarter thumbs up - I have this weird sliding scale of suspending belief. I can suspend a tiny bit of belief or a lot of belief - the extremes. But a medium amount? No deal. I just could not deal with everyone's cavalier attitude to a missing lady. 

Booksmart

I had an after-epiphany why this does not get quoted as much as 'Mean Girls' or 'Superbad'. It is because the funniest moments (well to me) are more physical rather than a quote-able line e.g. Beanie Feldstein's wide-eyed moments, perfectly timed gag reflexes, Ling Ling! 

Two thumbs up - "Booksmart's central love story is the platonic one between Molly and Amy. This shouldn't feel revolutionary, but I still well up every time I see two young women on screen adoring each other rather than compteing" - Greta Parry for The Guardian. Rewatched because of this beautifully written piece that says everything I feel about the movie, but better. Watch it and read it!!

Once Upon A Time in Hollywood

A good 40 minutes or so needs to be cut from the beginning half, especially the "acting" scenes (Seriously? You are doing the whole scene??). The end part, from '6 months later' onwards, is otherwise fine Tarantino as is. 

One thumbs up - very far from his best or even his usual good baseline. I have just realised in this second viewing that this one doesn't have chapters like the others (which I enjoy), and the music/score is weaker and not a major player like the others. But mostly I have figured that the majority of Leo's scenes just keep dragging on and are overall superfluous. Brad Pitt > Leo.

Senna

No Nicole, Formula 1 racing is not like Herbie Fully Loaded. 

One and a half thumbs up - gripping for the entire three hours (haha just 106mins but Nicole/Google got it wrong). But seriously it was really good! I didn't have the words for it at the time, but I really liked that they constructed this from just archival footage, without any 'retrospective interviews or commentary'. 

Les Traducteurs (The Translators)

So there is a hot new novel that they want released in multiple languages at the same time. They hire ten translators, lock them in a bunker and get them to translate. But then some pages get leaked... BUT WHO LEAKED IT?!

Half a thumbs up - Very mediocre. I see their inspirations in Agatha Christie and maybe Ocean's Eleven, but its falls short and the characters ended up as silly caricatures. Did not live up to the headline and photo caption byline in that ABC review article (it got me good!)

Chinatown

I have delayed watching this for years because I was not sure if the face in the poster was cigarette smoke or a ghost. I was very scared it was a ghost... or an eventual pile of goo someone's hands might go in. 

One thumbs up - moderately exciting, but I am too much of a dumb-dumb to understand why it is apparently the greatest screenplay ever. Faye Dunaway is exquisite though, despite the weird eyebrows. 

You've Got Mail

"Does anyone mind if I try the caviar but not have the egg (salad)?" - Daniel.

OH THIS IS TOO APT!!

Two thumbs up - I still maintain this as my favourite! The snappy conversations and emails! F-O-X! Sweet-funny!

Sleepless In Seattle

Oh boy those tissues needed to be shared around when Sam and Jonah reunite. 

Two thumbs up - I was pleasantly surprised by how funny it was! I was however pikachu-face-surprised when everyone jumped ship on Team Mail!

Superbad

"Say when... height-wise"

Two thumbs up - a serendipitous screening because it was at the top of the 'good DVDs stack' Ben came across when looking for The Simpsons ("Abe, you've aged terribly"). We watched that too. 

Volver

Is this going to be about guns? Or ghosts? All or none of the above? 

One and a half thumbs up - ♡ women ♡. But especially Penelope Cruz. 

Kingsman: The Secret Service

I thought I would have been safe because there is no way I would get a free sim card (what data are you trying to get on me??). Turns out I wouldn't have been, and they had an explanation for it. Damnit! 

One and a half thumbs up - much fun! 

The Lobster

I laughed out loud when Farrell and Weisz were restrained-excited about being both short-sighted and having astigmatism. I completely forgot about this scene!

Two thumbs up - this type of strange and macabre I am on board with and I love. Probably because it is dotted with dark-but-hilariously absurd moments. Much love for The Lobster!

I'm Thinking Of Ending Things

"I thought this was going to be some depressed existentialist shit, not 'Hereditary' shit! Oh no what have I done?!"

- My voiceover (i.e. yelling my commentary across the apartment); less monologue-y, more panicked whinging! 

Two thumbs down officially, but more like two flaming turds. In fact, watching my actual poop on actual fire would be more entertaining and interesting than this shit. It was some hellish combination of boring and stress-inducing. After this fantastic waste of time, I want to extend my apologies to my sweet 'Magnolia' and my little pompous 'V for Vendetta'. I hastily derided both as the worst film I've watched this year. But this surpasses everything. Why do I keep giving Kaufman a chance? I should really red-light-stop-don't-watch him. 

Moonrise Kingdom

I am sensing a few commanding behaviours from Sam to Suzy that make me go 'if you weren't a child, this would be less endearing and more... controlling'. But he is a weird kid and young, so I will let it go and enjoy the movie. 

Two thumbs up - Moonrise Kingdom is probably my favourite aesthetic of his films. There is also something oddly comforting about the tartan prints popping up in the Scouts.

Mean Girls

Is 'Mean Girls' a Christmas movie? No it is not. Yes it has some scenes involving Christmas, but not predominately. You would then say this statement is also true for 'Bridget Jones' Diary.' Simply having a Christmas scene doth not maketh a Christmas movie. Ergo, Bridget Jones is also not a Christmas movie *dust hands*

Two thumbs up - I can't decide which I love more, Mean Girls or Superbad. I feel they are just different sides of the same coin; that coin being the height of comedy. Also coincidentally or not, both films have a funny bit about vests. 

An Affair To Remember

2 - 3 weeks before this session, Nicole is researching how we will source this movie. She finds an Ebay seller and drives over to purchase the DVD. She felt bad for only buying one cheap purchase so she also purchased another DVD. She brings it over one week in advance so it is here and ready. 

Sooo.... this afternoon I was going through my DVDs to find something to watch. And. TURNS OUT I HAD "AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER" THIS WHOLE TIME. Lol oops.

One and a quarter thumbs up - it was very beautiful. "Pink champagne" colour palette and beautiful singing voices and trans-atlantic accents. And she was so spunky and like-able! 

Knives Out

I also use a donut analogy at work! Except mine is for the optic nerve, with progressive enlargement of the donut hole symbolising glaucoma. So... not as fun. 

Two thumbs up - is this too hasty? It is my second viewing though. But it is just such a great combination of ensemble cast, murder mystery, detective work, humour and sly social commentary. Hits all the right notes! 

The Italian Job

Me (5 mins in): "I bet Ed Norton turns out to be a bad guy. I don't trust that sleazy moustache"

(10 mins in): Suspicions confirmed.

One and quarter thumbs up - good heist. Pure heist. More heist than cars (because that is why I delayed watching this since forever). 

Becoming

Watched this because I thought it would be my shortcut to pretend to discuss the book with Jenny and Sue. It is more about her book tour, though I am sure some of the stories in between are in the book.

Three quarters thumbs up - all I could think of when watching it was that Michelle and Barack are greater than the sum of its parts. Not to disparage their achievements but I feel their strength in partnership is a huge reason they are able to be successful. So I found it difficult as a husband-less loser, to be as inspired by her powerful messages as those other people were. Like, I can't even be moved by Michelle Obama. Who is an amazing and wonderful woman. Thank you for listening to my weird take on this. 

V for Vendetta

Controversial opinion: Natalie Portman is an overrated actress and most of her films are not good. Everyone just likes her because she is part Israeli, went to Harvard and not a typical Hollywood blonde. Which are all decent. But go on, name me your favourite Natalie Portman film. Besides Black Swan and Closer, there is nothing good!
Two thumbs down - that was terrible. I thought this was supposed to be one of the few good Natalie Portman films. It is so stupid. Grandiosely ridiculous dialogue! But worse than that was Portman's horrendous English accent! It was so distractingly bad that I scoffed 'oh god' many times. I can't even.

Mary, Queen of Scots

"How cruel men are"
Yep. These 1500s men are especially dick-ish. Like seriously, you are a slightly noble nobody. You are upgrading no matter what. Why the stupid and undeserved drive to be king as well? Just fucking be happy with what you have.
One thumbs up - of all the olden day monarchies, anything involving Elizabeth I always fascinates me, so I will be slightly biased. And I learnt something about Catholics vs. Protestants. Crudely put, Catholics like the Pope, but Protestants are like 'BOOOO Pope! You don't even go here'. Both however are quite misogynistic.